When I attend a potluck I try to bring a food item based on taste, ease in transport, does it need to be kept hot or cold, something everyone would like, and something maybe unique. This past Sunday we had a potluck at church and I spied my Artisan Bread in 5 dough in my fridge, enough to make two pizzas, perfect. My pizzas came together quickly and were delicious, not a piece left. I think I finally make pizza as good as or better than my Auntie Fannie who was famous for hers (at least in our family!) My pizzas were served at room temperature and the kitchen ladies had cut the pizza in 3x3 inch squares. So keep some of this dough in you fridge for some good potluck pleasin'.
I love potlucks, I really do. I perk up when I hear potluck and start daydreaming about what I am going to bring, what wonderful dishes will be present, and maybe learning a new recipe or two but...
Why Do I Still Attend Potlucks When...
1. The family of 16, all big eaters, is in line in front of me and I may as well surrender now and call Pizza Hut for delivery.
2. That very same family of 16 brought a can of corn.
3. Parents are not watching their children load up on food only to waste it while I got two kernels of corn and a half of biscuit. I'll know to load up at Communion next time.
4. People stand in line eating food off their plates with their fingers, and lick those fingers, then reach for the serving utensils for more food. Now I know for sure that the term "greasy spoon" started at some church basement potluck.
5. People in line in front of me are sniffling and sneezing. Beyond the Blessing I may need a shot of Penicillin to prevent illness. Or vodka.
6. Unidentifiable food is present. If you have to explain your dish, don't bring it.
7. A person is running around asking if there is any salt in each dish, "My blood pressure you know." We're SOUTHERN Baptist, what do you think?
8. A stampede is caused by someone shouting, "Oh look Twinkies and SpaghettiO's!" Why is it that the store bought stuff is more popular than my homemade Dulce de Leche Pie?
9. There are people in line with their plates heaped high looking for the Diet Coke.
10. The people in line in front of me are already on their seconds.
What do you like to bring to potlucks and what is a potluck pet peeve of yours? Be nice. Well only a little nice.
UPDATE- You must read some of the comments- they are hysterical. Oh and my peeves are an accumulation of 25 years attending various church, office, and Army potlucks.
41 comments:
I will never look at a potluck the same way! You are too funny! I like to bring Evelyn's Calico Bean pot baked beans! They are always a hit!
I have that dough in my fridge right now. It is my favorite.
I haven't been to a potluck in forever. Too many memories of eating jello in the church basement while sitting on folding chairs. Now I need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist.
Oh you are so funny. I have to agree with you the folks who just bring a can of corn then eat like they are not going to get fed for a week. I don't have a stand by dish, I just take a can of corn. ha ha.
hahahaha
Every one of those is so true...you have me cracking up!! I like to bring appetizers to potlucks! But...come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I have been to one.
Maybe I avoid them for all the reasons that you listed :-)
LOL! A can of corn? Are you serious? I've never run into that thank goodnes, but I've seen people bring enough food for 4 when it should be for 25. Not fair. I always try and bring something big and satisfying.
I will never look at the term greasy spoon the same... lol
I usually bring Chilaquiles....but I guess a can of corn is better than bringing NOTHING. Those same people walk around with two plates to fill (one to eat now and the other to eat later). Our have gotten so bad that we have to enlist people to 'serve' (you know, to model how a normal serving should be?) October, our principal ran off with the normal dinner paper plates and replaced them with dessert sized plates for the line was long and she was fearful of running out of food. People were ticked!!!
OK, were you the one just in front of me in that potluck line? I thought I was the only one to witness these fetes of communal dining pleasure. Seriously, I always bring a large dish or desert or sometmes 2 items because I know others bring just a can of corn. And it never fails, there is one family the is up there first, grazing heavily. By the time half the people are fed the food is really drastically low.
My other peve about pot lucks is the scary food that was prepared by people who have questionable cooking skills and / or questionable understanding of what is sanitary / safe food practices. There is always at least one dish on the table that is way off on appearance, aroma, selection of ingredients... and that is the one dish that is all but eaten in the end.
Pot lucks can really be great - but sometimes it is russian roulet with gastro-intestinal disease.
I organize monthly potlucks for my department at work. Two of my collegues begged to start having it be themed, which I thought was a great idea! After making such a big fuss of it, neither has brought anything themed and it's been stuff straight out of the freezer!
My next potluck is next week, which we're trying to raise money for another collegue who is going to be in a charity marathon. Please lord, let me get through this next one!
I like bring a wide variety of things to potlucks. I love using my crockpot or bringing homemade salads. I actually made your Two-ingredient pumpkin cake with browned butter frosting for one potluck, and it was a HUGE success! I have now made it for two birthdays, and will make it again next week for my husband's birthday! (We work for the same company.)
I don't like potlucks for all of the reasons you mentioned plus instead of enjoying my food I pay too much attention to whether the food I brought is being eaten and how well people like it. I'm self conscious about my food, it's pathetic. Which is why if I am forced to attend such an event I'll bring something ridiculously simple that most everyone will like, cookies, brownies, or 7 layer bean dip.
LOL on your post! I am always asked to bring my Macaroni Salad, my Mac and Cheese, or my Banana Pudding. Sometimes I send my favorite green salad with homemade dressing. I have never really gotten to try much else because people pout if I don't bring one of the requesteds. I also make a killer shredded barbecue and corn casserole that go in a slow cooker. I carefully choose whose food I eat at a potluck!
Amen!!! I do like you, choose something that transports well (best if it fits in one of my covered dishes with the insulated bags), something lots of people will like, and lots of it, even if there is only two of us going. Once I made a double batch of the little sausages in crescent rolls for a Super Bowl party at church (I know) and they were eaten out of the basket as I carried it to the table.
My Pet Peeve, those who stop by the grocery on the way and get a bag of chips and a jar of salsa or some grocery store bakery cookies, but never touch it themselves, they eat the hot, yummy homemade things. If you can't cook, at least stop and get chicken or something.
Oh Robin,
You always make me laugh. My potluck peeve is the one about the people sneezing and licking their fingers then reaching in the bowl of Doritos or whatever else store bought thing someone brought. I always bring...what else do Lutherans bring?, casserole!
AMENNNNNNNNNNN!!! A thousand cheers for this. My mother's art studio cooperative has potluck lunch every single DAY (it's a tourist attraction in Hawaii and the artists are in residence most every day). There is a woman who, literally, brings 1 can of corn and 1 corn of green beans, mixes them, and calls it salad. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And then loads up on my mother's chocolate layer cake, or someone else's crab puffs. For the longest while everyone thought she was living on a fixed, low income, but no. She's just cheap. Another woman brings 1/2 of a loaf of wheat bread. Her theory: "Why bring a whole loaf? It's never eaten all the way gone." She then takes home "her" wheat bread because so few people eat it. My mother said "That should have been her cue that she needs to bring something else besides that funky wheat bread." I told her that was my Mom's cue to load up on that woman's wheat bread. Even if she doesn't want it -- you eat that darn bread! I mean it! (I'm petty).
Anyway, my personal pet peeve are the "consultants" who tell you what you should, or should have not, with *your* dish as you are unpacking it and putting it on the community table.
"Ooooh, what's that?"
"Green Chili Enchiladas."
"What's that on top?"
"That would be the diced green chili."
"Oh, you should have put that on the side. Not everyone likes green chili."
"Well we can't bake for everyone, that's why it's a potluck."
"yes but I have a sensitive stomach and now I can't eat that..."
"Well it looks like there are lots of good things for you to choose from..."
"Well next time can you make it without the green chilis?"
"Well then it wouldn't be green chili enchiladas..."
"Well next time can you just, oh I don't know, bring a can of corn? Baked into a corn souffle? I like that."
You are so right with your comments. We have one person in our group that brings a pound of butter, no bread or buns, just a pound of butter.
Myself, I alternate. One time I bring a hot dish, next time a salad, next time a dessert.
I always make sure it transports well and presents well. Myself, I won't touch something if I have no clue what could possibly be in it from how it looks.
I don't bring foods that use the cheapest ingredients possible. If I would not serve a dish like that to my family or company in my house, I will not bring it to a potluck. And I always make sure that what I bring serves at least 12.
Ok Ok Ok! You all are killing me. I am having more fun reading these comments than writing this post. We do have some good gripes don't we. Why can't anyone play by OUR set of rules! Bring lots of food and make it good!
A pound of butter! I think I peed my pants reading that one!
And the green enchilada story is soooo true. They always want to tell us how to cook.
It think we should all bring a can of corn to our next potluck- just because!
I avoid potlucks like the plague for all of the above-mentioned reasons! LOL
My mouth is dropping open reading these. I must live in La-La-land because I've never encountered any of these situations at potlucks! Usually everyone is well behaved and brings appropriate amounts of foods!
We have game night at our church once a month and everyone is supposed to bring a snack to share. Of the 40+ people there, only two or three people bring homemade snacks. It's usually a bought cake from the grocery (not so good) and a bought dip (left in the original container) with chips, a bought veggie plate with dip (stale) or other junk. Those of us who take the time to bake or cook are immediately "attacked" when we arrive. People are so eager to eat something homemade. Most of these people are retired and do not work. They have the time to prepare something, but are just too lazy to do so. I may take corn and beans tonight and mix them together (ha). Love you site and these comments were too funny.
I just cracked up at the pound of butter; what is that for?
I think I have been spoiled by our church fellowships. Instructions are given, "Last names A-M bring a main dish and a side dish; Last names N-Z bring a main dish and a dessert." And the food is always good; lots of homemade stuff.
I like to bring something in a crockpot to keep hot like shredded pork barbecue with coleslaw and rolls. We are guilty of stopping at the grocery in a pinch but we usually pick up a sliced ham and rolls.
I just stumbled upon your blog and you're too funny! I actually don't remember the last time I've been to a potluck and after reading your post, I guess I should consider myself lucky! If I was to attend a potluck though, I'd probably bring either brownie bites or cookies. I'm a total baker!
I also had a question regarding the Baked Corn Dogs that you posted a while back. Do you know if they make good left-overs for a quick snack? Thanks!
I usually have a hard time figuring out what to take to a potluck but I usually end up taking bruschetta. In general I have problems when people can't follow queue protocols and this definitely applies to potlucks. Butter your bread already and be swift about it, people are hungry!
I think you may be onto something with that vodka comment. There should be two lines at all potlucks. One with food and one for vodka shots. That way when you finally get through the food line you won't care what you are eating. After consuming the food, you'll also need to go back to the vodka line for another shot to kill germs. Please take your original shotglass with you through the food line so you can reuse it later.
Wait, you would do this in a church basement?
I must confess I am with thatgirl in that my potlucks are usually fun and full of good food. BUT I do hate it when people rave about dumb semi-homemade or storebought food that I would never make at home let alone take out for other people to eat. I always want to bring dessert but I also know that everyone else does too so I do not. Last time I brought homemade sweet dinner rolls--and drove my husband nuts insisting that he get there IMMEDIATELY so they could be eaten hot and then after everyone was mega prompt last year everyone was late this year and they were eaten cold and oh I guess I do have another pet peeve!
I think churches make mistakes when they don't give instructions - like A-M bring main dish and salad, etc. People don't have common sense, don't care, are cheap, lazy, to bring enough food for their family and a dish to share with others. I find some churches are embarrassed to tell people to bring 2 dishes. My old church always ran out of food and had to send out for pizza. I also try to find out who has cooked the dish before I eat it because I have gotten sick twice. Ma
Get this. I work with a woman, let's call her Ann. Ann is a member of a teensy tiny church that has "Dinner on the Grounds" once a month after Sunday morning service. Ann and I work with another woman, let's call her Nerve. Nerve only goes to that church the week there is "Dinner on the Grounds" which, of course, is a potluck. Nerve also has the, umm, nerve, to show up with Tupperware to take the leftovers!!! That's right folks...she takes the leftovers if there are any. Nerve is no petite flower either. Just sayin...
She brings *empty* Tupperware to load up... ?! You win, Karen! Best comment so far.
I am crying these are so funny! Some people huh? Ok the tupperware for leftovers is the best!!!! When I thought I had seen everything.
Graham- If it is a Russian church I guess?? But it would kill the germs!
Ma I agree with you and Sheila and that there should be rules. The little church I attend does a good job but oh those Army days were painful potlucks. Lots of cans of corn.
But maybe you all will agree with me that TEENAGERS can be the worse. Then really load up don't they?
Bon soir Anna Sophia! Of course you can still call me Joie. I love it! We will be French together. My french soeur was named Amandine which means little almond. I always liked that name since it's close to mine. :)
My pet peeve of potlucks has definately has to be the knowledge that I have no knowledge of the cleanliness of their kitchen! Yuck! Especially being a trained chef with a certification in food safety! Can't handle that anymore! Come check out my site sometime, you might enjoy it!
www.sjgourmet.com
I almost gag at potlucks becuase I know everyone picked their nose, licked the spoon and sneezed in the dish. I also imagine their cats who use the indoor litter box walk on the kitchen counters which totally makes me barf.
um...do they open the can of corn or just bring it and plop it on the table?
and after reading all this I'm never going to another potluck...
:P
I hate to be a total germaphobe, but I really hate pot lucks for each and every reason mentioned!
Everytime we are invited to attend a function like this, we usually take a huge container of sausage and peppers and onions. That's what I eat! And yes, that is alwys attacked by the family of 10 who brought the bag of chips! This was by far, one of the funniest posts I have read!
what a terrific post!
the ladies in my church have a subtle battle each potluck to get their dishes at the front of the table. it's quite hilarious to observe, and always a good time. :)
This is hillarious Robin! I'm planning to feature this post on my Sunday Shout Outs this week, so please stop by and check it out on Sunday morning. Have a great weekend!
My pet peeve about pot-lucks is my husband. He is suspect about everything there...not trusting to know who did sneeze, who did lick the spoon, etc. The most embarrassing thing is that I actually saw him "sniff" something before passing on it. He needs to have faith!
About 20 years ago, Tupperware sold these big "pot luck" trays... like the old school hot-lunch trays? With divided sections?
Well, anyway, I bought 5 of them, for our family, thinking WOW, how cool... until we actually got to the potluck and our trays looked HUGE compared to everyone else's paperplates. I quietly put them away and used some of the extra paper plates.
I sold those trays years later at a garage sale. Someone was very excited to get them. Probably the can of corn people. They now have HUGE trays that won't fold under the weight of all that food.
Kate with the critic and Karen with the leftover queen, those to kill me. All I could say after reading each was 'Seriously?'. I said it out loud and my husband had to come out and see what the deal was. He too got a big laugh out of all the comments.
Okay, I actually laughed out loud when I read this! The sad part is that it is so true! Some people just go a little nuts when there is free food! Although it's been awhile I usually bring a big pot of baked beans.
Okay, I am guilty of bringing something with a label at least one time. I know. I had made the DB flatbread, lavash and brought my skordalia. These people are not Greek of course so I had to explain.
I have to say that our potlucks have so much food, we would never run out. I am thankful after hearing your story.
These are all funny and true! I've some stay that didn't bring a thing! And one time a woman started picking fruit out of a bowl with her fingers!
ROFL ... organizing a pot luck is typically like herding cats. I actually consider myself blessed now that I have to eat gluten free and have an excuse not to eat questionable food (and questionable on many levels!). I'll never forget when we had a pot luck at work years ago (before I was gluten-free) for Thanksgiving and one girl made ham biscuits. Ham biscuits--pretty harmless, right? Well, people would bite into one, get this horrid look on their faces, and practically run from the room. One of them cued me in to NOT eat the ham biscuits. Later, when they victims gathered to commiserate, none could say exactly what specifically was wrong with the ham biscuits, they just said they were the worst thing they'd ever eaten in their lives. They left the room to secretly spit out the ham biscuit ... they didn't even consider swallowing to be nice.
We host a big V Day party and there are very few people I let bring food. They are old trusted friends. Some people still decide to bring food to share. The worst to date was when one woman showed up with a slab of cream cheese and a sleeve of Saltines. I kid you not. She put them right on the corner of my beautifully set table. As soon as they left, I grabbed them and threw them away.
Can of corn, pound of butter, Tupperware lady (reminds me of the guy who went to all the job fairs in the area just for the free feed) ... too funny, but not while you are experiencing them, of course. Then you need that vodka shot!! Thanks for the laughs!
Shirley
That looks fantastic...now, I have to go look for that bread recipe!
I attended a potluck --- 16 ladies in our Stitch 'n Bitch group --- and we ALL brought dessert. Every single on of us! So, we chipped in, ordered pizza and all went home with the worst sugar headaches known to creation. It was GREAT!
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