I found this old BRK post and had such an belly-roar over it that I had to repost in hopes you get a good laugh from it as well. Oh and my peeves are an accumulation of 25 years attending various church, office, and Army potlucks. I have also picked the top ten reader comments for more rip-roaring fun. Enjoy!
I love potlucks, I really do. I perk up when I hear potluck and start daydreaming about what I am going to bring, what wonderful dishes will be present, and maybe learning a new recipe or two but...
Why Do I Still Attend Potlucks When...
1. The family of 16, all big eaters, is in line in front of me and I may as well surrender now and call Pizza Hut for delivery.
2. That very same family of 16 brought a can of corn.
3. Parents are not watching their children load up on food only to waste it while I got two kernels of corn and a half of biscuit. I'll know to load up at Communion next time.
4. People stand in line eating food off their plates with their fingers, and lick those fingers, then reach for the serving utensils for more food. Now I know for sure that the term "greasy spoon" started at some church basement potluck.
5. People in line in front of me are sniffling and sneezing. Beyond the Blessing I may need a shot of Penicillin to prevent illness. Or vodka.
6. Unidentifiable food is present. If you have to explain your dish, don't bring it.
7. A person is running around asking if there is any salt in each dish, "My blood pressure you know." We're SOUTHERN Baptist, what do you think?
8. A stampede is caused by someone shouting, "Oh look Twinkies and SpaghettiO's!" Why is it that the store bought stuff is more popular than my homemade Dulce de Leche Pie?
9. There are people in line with their plates heaped high looking for the Diet Coke.
10. The people in line in front of me are already on their seconds.
TOP TEN READER COMMENTS...
10. Karen K says... "Nerve only goes to that church the week there is "Dinner on the Grounds" which, of course, is a potluck. Nerve also has the, umm, nerve, to show up with Tupperware to take the leftovers!!! That's right folks...she takes the leftovers if there are any. Nerve is no petite flower either. Just sayin..."
9. grahamstravelblog says..." There should be two lines at all potlucks. One with food and one for vodka shots. That way when you finally get through the food line you won't care what you are eating. After consuming the food, you'll also need to go back to the vodka line for another shot to kill germs. Please take your original shotglass with you through the food line so you can reuse it later. Wait, you would do this in a church basement?"
8. Noble Pig says..."I almost gag at potlucks becuase I know everyone picked their nose, licked the spoon and sneezed in the dish. I also imagine their cats who use the indoor litter box walk on the kitchen counters which totally makes me barf."
7. A Southern Grace says..."the ladies in my church have a subtle battle at each potluck to get their dishes at the front of the table. it's quite hilarious to observe, and always a good time. :)"
6. Eat! says..."Too many memories of eating jello in the church basement while sitting on folding chairs. Now I need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist."
5. mephibashef..."Pot lucks can really be great - but sometimes it is russian roulet with gastro-intestinal disease."
4. Joie de vivre says..."My potluck peeve is the one about the people sneezing and licking their fingers then reaching in the bowl of Doritos or whatever else store bought thing someone brought. I always bring...what else do Lutherans bring?, casserole!"
3. Kate says...This really happened to her...
"Ooooh, what's that?"
"Green Chili Enchiladas."
"What's that on top?"
"That would be the diced green chili."
"Oh, you should have put that on the side. Not everyone likes green chili."
"Well we can't bake for everyone, that's why it's a potluck."
"yes but I have a sensitive stomach and now I can't eat that..."
"Well it looks like there are lots of good things for you to choose from..."
"Well next time can you make it without the green chilis?"
"Well then it wouldn't be green chili enchiladas..."
"Well next time can you just, oh I don't know, bring a can of corn? Baked into a corn souffle? I like that."
2. Gluten Free Easily says..."The worst to date was when one woman showed up with a slab of cream cheese and a sleeve of Saltines. I kid you not. She put them right on the corner of my beautifully set table. As soon as they left, I grabbed them and threw them away."
And the #1 best reader comment...
1. redforever says..."We have one person in our group that brings a pound of butter, no bread or buns, just a pound of butter."
Bring it on! What is your best Potluck story? Make me laugh so hard I cough up a lung or something...
An Oldy But Goody: Potluck Pet Peeves
Not Here But Over There...
I did write a post for today, I really did, but it is not here, it is over at Sandy's place Reluctant Entertainer. Pop on over for my story Humble Hospitality and two very mouth-watering recipes. It was a joy to be a guest at Sandy's who has a wonderful blog about entertaining, hospitality, and keeping it all simple. What is truly exciting for Sandy it that her book The Reluctant Entertainer comes out this August. I have been following Sandy for a while now and have come to enjoy her ideas and tips, but there is a recipe that I must make soon- Cookie Brittle, what a great idea! Thanks Sandy.
English Muffin Pizzas
When Himself leaves town things change around the BRK. Since I am greatly out-numbered, children 3, adults 1, I prepare more "kid-friendly" meals than when Himself is around- although I think he would be happier with more kid-friendly foods. I am often asked how I get my own children to eat and I answer with, "You mean other than screaming and threats?" I try to make sure there is always something on the table that everyone likes. If the meal falls in the so-so category of kid-friendliness, then I am sure to have apple sauce, rice, or noodles on the table.
The other night I made English Muffin Pizzas, always a hit with the children but leaves me wanting more. I chose to introduce two sophisticated ingredients to this usually simpleton meal. Introducing new flavors in a typically favorite meal is a sneaky tactic and most times I do not get caught. When the ingredients are revealed the kids are surprised at liking the new-to-them-ingredients. I chose pancetta and smoked paprika to jazz up this meal without getting the "Oh yuck Mom." The kids got one of their favorite meals and I got flavor satisfaction and six thumbs-up. 
Adult Palate-Kid Approved English Muffin Pizzas
1 jar Pizza Sauce or 1 recipe Kelly's Pizza Sauce- delicious
6 English muffins, split
12 slices pancetta
1 1/2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
smoked paprika
pizza sprinkle like Penzeys Tuscan Sunset, oregano works well too
Place English muffin halves on a cookie sheet and spread with sauce, top with pancetta and cheese then sprinkle with smoked paprika and pizza sprinkle. Bake in 400 degree oven for 10 minutes. Makes 12 pizzas.
Oh another thing that goes on while Himself is away, the mice play. I have a very tenacious mouse that is impossible to catch. Almost. He did get trapped but got away. Now there is a one eyed, broken legged, almost bloodless mouse limping around my home which leads me to sleep with one eye opened trying to spy a mouse on revenge.
Super Fast: Ham Steak Apple Skillet
I am still making dinner for breakfast, well except for last week when we were off of work and school due to blizzard conditions and record snowfall. The mornings I do cook, I am finding that I have to be very organized and fast. Vegetables need to be roasted at very high temperatures and cut into smaller peices in order to get done in less than 30 minutes and most of my cooking techniques need tweaking to get food on the table in very little time without sacrificing taste or texture. This recipe gets it all done in a flash. Meat and fruit in one pan while the cauliflower roasted, this dinner was on the table in less than 30 minutes.
Ham Steak Apple Skillet
2 ham steaks
3 T. butter
1 T. Dijon mustard
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 cups diced apples
In a large skillet melt butter, add sugar and mustard and bring to a simmer. Add apples and cover. Let simmer for 5 minutes then top with ham steaks. cover with lid and let simmer 10 minutes more or until apples are soft but not mushy. Remove ham to a platter and top with apples and sauce. You may also use maple syrup in place of the sugar. Spices such as cinnamon or allspice may be added as well. Be creative by adding nuts or other fruits like pineapple. Serves 4-6.
Big Red Kitchen's Valentine's Day Edition: Bananas Foster
Related Posts:
Valentine's Day Candy Leis
Peanut Butter Blossoms and the Worst Valentine's Days Ever!
Chocolate Pots de Crème
Knock You Naked Brownies
Chocolate Schmocolate. Yes I get it, chocolate is the food of romance and number one choice for Valentine's Day but I think FIRE is more dramatic. I believe Valentine's Day became a holiday for lovers because the martyred Valentine wrote a note to his jailer's daughter just before his execution. He signed it "From your Valentine." We are not sure if this blind girl was a friend, confidant, or lover but it being such a tragic story must be one of lost love, mustn't it? If she were only a pal, the story bears less interest and wouldn't even have made it in our modern day newspapers, it just wouldn't sell. It had to have been a tragic romance, right? Well no one really knows but what is missed of the tale is that as a Christian, Valentine refused to worship Caesar thus bringing his own demise. Valentine loved Someone worthy of dying for.
Here is a dessert that not only is romantic but very exciting as well. I do have a history with flames but felt confident that I could flambé without injury. This dish is not only flavorful, but entertaining. Who doesn't like a good dinner followed by a show? Ingnite the flames of romance, throw caution to the wind, let love be your guide...blech, just make this for your family, friends, or lover, it's a classic and they will love you for it.
Bananas Foster- adapted from Brennan's
2 T. butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 shot banana liqueur
2 bananas, cut in half lengthwise, then halved
1 shot dark rum
4 scoops coffee ice cream
Combine the butter, sugar, and cinnamon in a flambé pan or skillet. Place the pan over low heat either on an alcohol burner or on top of the stove, and cook, stirring, until the sugar dissolves. Stir in the banana liqueur, then place the bananas in the pan. When the banana sections soften and begin to brown, carefully add the rum. Continue to cook the sauce until the rum is hot, then tip the pan slightly to ignite the rum. When the flames subside, lift the bananas out of the pan and place four pieces over each portion of ice cream. Generously spoon warm sauce over the top of the ice cream and serve immediately. Serves 2.
Note- If you do not have any of these alcohols available, the dish is still delicious, not as exciting, but still delicious all the same.
Love is the irresistible desire to be loved irresistibly.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Robin Sue
"Secret Ingredient" Kung Fu Panda Soup
As soon as they tasted this soup, my children declared it "Kung Fu Panda Soup" even though it does lack the noodles of Mr. Pings "Secret Ingredient Noodle Soup." With its Asian flavors and Po's favorite dumplings it reminded them of this DreamWorks film's famous soup. Make a big pot of this soup while watching Po save the village and find himself along the way. And that secret ingredient? Nothing, it is only special because they think it is special.
Kung Fu Panda Soup
1 pound bag frozen potstickers, I used trader Joe's Pork and Veggies
1/3 cup water
2 T. vegetable oil
1/2 tsp. ginger paste
4 cups chicken broth
3 green onions sliced, green and white parts
In a large skillet with fitted lid, place potsitckers, water and oil. Place lid on top and cook over med-high heat until potstickers are steamed through. Remove lid and let the water cook off. Turning potstickers often let them fry in the remaining oil until golden and crispy. Add broth, ginger, and onion slices. Heat through until hot. Ladle into bowls. Serves 5.
Today is National Wear Red Day®
CrossFit Tyson's in RED
Update! New Recipes added...
Now that is one good looking group up there. This is a shot taken at the CrossFit gym where I work out. This group inspires me to keep in shape and work hard. Being physically active is one great way to stay fit and build a strong, healthy heart. Another way to insure good heart health is to put healthy foods in our bodies. Below are some recipes that have been sent in from my friends around the web, not only delicious but all heart healthy too.
Let's start with soup from Chaya's Comfy Cook Blog. Now I do love a good stuffed cabbage dish but Chaya has created this gluten-free Unstuffed Cabbage Soup. Very heart healthy and hearty. Visit her site for more gluten-free recipes. Chaya also has a blog called Sweet and Savory and shares a post with us that is called Meatless Monday which links us to so many more heart, healthy recipes. This is a wonderful place to start if you are ready to make some healthy changes in your eating habits.
Claudia all the way from Hawaii shares from her blog Honey from Rock- I love that name- a heart, healthy Chicken Salad with Olives and Carambola. Ooh carambola, now that sounds wonderful. I am happy to have met Claudia through this. Here I am under piles of snow and just when I am all tired of it all, here comes Claudia with her sunshine. I also think Claudia looks smashing in red!
Kristi of My Favorite Recipes sent me a touching and personal story of her mother's own battle with heart disease and how a massive heart attack took her life. Kristi sends in her recipe for Heart Healthy Homemade Salsa, yes! we can have a spicy life on heart healthy foods. But more importantly I would appreciate it if you went over to Kristi's blog and viewed the lovely picture of her mother. You see it is a very personal disease that robs our mothers, sisters, and wives all too young. Kristi and her daughter Presley, who was born on the one year anniversary of her mother's death, look beautiful in RED. What a precious blessing!
Michelle from One Ordinary Day sent in a recipe for Sweet Potato with Kale and Ricotta. This meal in one gives us nutrients from deep green vegetables AND orange colored veggies. Talk about eating a rainbow in one meal. Hello antioxidants.
Jenn from Slim-Shoppin' sends us a healthy cookie that won't bust the calorie budget. Full of heart healthy grains these cookies can be made up ahead of time and frozen. That is why she dubbed them Freezer Cookies.
Jenn's sister Biz from Biggest Diabetic Loser, who is only a loser in the sense of the weight she is losing but a huge winner in eating healthy, sends in her Glazed Tofu With Broccoli recipe. Weighing in at only 358 calories per serving this dish will not have you crying at the scale. 
Yes you can eat pizza living a heart healthy life-style! Fallon of Fallon's Cucina gives us her pizza recipe called Pita Pizza By Fallon. Using pita bread helps us whip up a personal pizza in no time. Read the rest of her post as she shares with us a super easy snacky-poo that I must remember to make for when I am out and about.
Catherine of The Unconfidential Cook sends us her very unique recipe for Roasted Radishes. I had never heard of roasting radishes before and was very happy to see a new way to serve them. This recipe caused quite a bit of converstaion on her blog and I was not the only one wondering how these little jems would taste roasted. Catherine writes, "Yes, the roasting did kill most of the bite. Interesting…they almost tasted like potatoes." Well I will be trying this for sure. 
From me right here in Big Red Kitchen is a recipe I did a while back but needs to be seen again is Grilled Rosemary Chicken and Peaches. If you do not care for chicken thighs then you may substitute chicken breasts. Grilling peaches is a wonderful way to caramelize their natural sugar, greatly enhancing their flavor.
After visiting the NHBLI website I was saddened to read some of the testimonies women wrote. I was so shocked to see women in their 40's suffering from heart disease. It got worse, even women in their 30's and some as early as their twenties all suffered from heart disease. Ladies know your risks, understand your body, and pay attention to symptoms. Get your RED on today and spread the word about women's heart disease.
Michelle of One Ordinary Day is wearing RED today, are you?
BLT Dip
Classic deli-style BLT meets ooey gooey dip served in lettuce cups, PF Chang fashion. I invented this little dip for Super Bowl this weekend or any other party where bacon is required. This dip is very rich and the sun-dried tomatoes shine in this dish, further enhancing that bacon ecstasy. You are allowed to eat this once a year followed by a 5 mile run, 75 squats, 50 lunges, 100 sit-ups, 100 pull-ups, and 1 million burpees.
Enjoy!
BLT Dip
2- 8 ounce packages cream cheese
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 cup sun dried tomatoes, not in oil, diced*
1 lb. crispy bacon, crumbled- reserve 1 T. grease
1/2 packet ranch dressing mix
8 slices white bread, diced
1 T. melted butter
1 1/2 large heads iceberg lettuce
In a large microwave safe bowl soften cream cheese for about 45 seconds in microwave oven. Add the mayo, cheese, tomatoes, bacon, and ranch dressing mix, mix until smooth. Spread into a 9x13 inch baking dish and top evenly with bread cubes. Mix melted butter with 1 T. reserved bacon grease and brush lightly over bread cubes- I did not use it all. Bake in a 375 degree oven for 15 minutes or until dip is bubbly and golden brown. In the meantime, core lettuce, rinse and dry. Using a plastic knife cut head in half from top through core. Remove inner yellow leaves. Taking one by one, gently remove each leaf and place each lettuce "cup" on a platter- I got about 14 "cups" from one head. To serve, allow your guests to spoon some dip into the lettuce cups, using the lettuce as a wrap. You can serve this with crackers but then it would be BCT Dip. Serves about 8.
Note- I used California Sun*Dry's Cello-packed Sun Dried Smoked Tomatoes and their Regular Sun Dried Tomatoes, 1/2 cup of each, diced.
Other Great Football Foods
Buffalo Chicken Wing Dip
Jalapeno Popper Dip
Pepperoni Dip
Cream Cheese Sheet Cake
Don't forget to wear RED this Friday in support of National Wear Red Day to increase awareness of women's heart disease. And join my heart healthy recipe roundup because after this recipe we will all need to fix our hearts.
Joining FOODalogue in Argentina: Arrollado con Dulce de Leche
Today I am joining Joan from FOODalogue in Argentina. Joan is hosting a South of the Border Culinary Tour. When I think of Argentina I think Empanadas but with the snow we just had I did not have a chance to get out and get the ingredients I needed- I did wait until last minute as usual. So I made dessert since I had all of the ingredients in my home. Well I should say sort of. I had a can of sweetened condensed milk that when boiled for 4 hours magically turned to dulce de leche.
One of my co-workers brings this cake roll to many of our school functions with rave reviews and recipe requests. It is a classic Argentinian dessert that bakes up light and fluffy then while still hot from the oven is spread with dulce de leche and then rolled. After a bit of cooling, it is sliced and sprinkled with powdered sugar. The caramel flavor shines through in this cake. If you want a cake in a flash, this would be the one. From start to finish, I completed it in 20 minutes. I am looking forward to Joan's Argentina Culinary Roundup on Feb. 3rd. I am hoping to see some creative variations of Empanadas.
Arrollado con Dulce de Leche
1 cup self rising flour
1 cup sugar
6 eggs (separated)
1 t. Vanilla
One can dulce de leche, 13.4 ounces*
Beat egg whites until fluffy add sugar until soft peaks form, then add egg yolks, flour, and vanilla. Line an 11x15x1 inch jelly roll pan with parchment paper, be sure a little over laps to assist with rolling later. Spray lightly with Pam. Spread batter evenly in pan and bake at 350° for 10-12 minutes or until golden and cake springs back when touched. Remove from oven and while still hot, drop spoonfuls of dulce de leche over top of cake. Wait a minute then spread evenly. Grabbing the long end of the paper, start rolling the cake toward you while pulling the paper free. Once rolled tight, wrap with the parchment paper and let cool. Once cooled slice and place on pretty platter and sprinkle with powdered sugar. Serves 10-12.
Note- If you do not have self-rising flour then to one cup of all purpose flour add 1/2 tsp. kosher salt and 1 tsp baking soda.
To make your own dulce de leche, you will need one can of sweetened condensed milk. Remove lable and place can on its side in a large pot. Cover with water, about an inch over the can and cover pot. Bring to a boil and lower heat a bit and simmer for 4 hours. Be sure the can stays covered at all times with water. After 4 hours turn off heat and let the can cool. Mine did not explode and I even used a can with a pull-tab top. Someday I would like to compare the taste of this homemade version with canned dulce de leche.
Don't forget that this Friday is the Heart Healthy Recipe Roundup, get your RED on!
